growing older has definitely changed the way i see things. and each time i think of how i love my job and why i love it so much - i manage to brush off all the unpleasant things that tag along with the job. it's not easy to work with people with differences.
my clients are my students. i know some may say that my monthly pay comes from them, therefore i shouldn't do things the way i like. but sometimes, it's not the way i like it but rather i was left with no choice but responsibility.
errr faham ke?
baru-baru ni, i told my students that it's the worst midterm result in history. many fail the exam, despite being told how they should answer each and every question. i notice that most of them were unhappy with the result, but none came to ask me why did i say it's the worst in history.
let me explain here, ladies and gentlemen.
one, many of the students did not follow the instructions. suruh garis, dia tak garis. suruh pilih satu jawapan daripada empat pilihan jawapan, ada yang pilih lebih.
two, they seemed like they didn't understand the questions. sebabnya, pembuat soalan menggantikan perkataan dalam text dengan synonyms. and many actually left the questions empty. MANY. whhhhhyyyyy?
three, many didn't provide relevant supporting details for the paragraph writing. and to my surprise, there were also many students who chose to leave it blank. oh myyyyyy... whyyyyy?
four, they are just unlucky because their answers were not like in the answering scheme. i know you can justify saying that it's logic and what not - but i just couldn't do anything because it's fixed and it will be unfair to other students. so, yeah. blame me for trying to be as just as i could.
it's not easy to please everyone. never been. i teased a boy in my class as i know he's smart and he is the kind who likes to compete and easily feels challenged, but i'm not sure if he purely gets what i intend to do or he just thought of it as a humiliation upon him.
students selalu rasa dimalukan when i scold them or membahan diorang dalam kelas. some say i favour orang ni lebih la apa la. without realizing it that the world works that way. the real world is unpleasant and can be so damaging, but where else we can go but facing it with solid heart and motivation? i usually takkan membahan or kacau student yang i dah nampak will be fine or sometimes i just let them be sebab i rasa tak perlu. but to those yang selalu i cari pasal tu, please forgive me. mungkin cara i salah until you feel the other way around.
all that i care for my students is for them to be able to be strong enough to face the world. i want them to be able to protect themselves by letting go, or by pushing all the negativity away, or by making the bad becomes good, turning them into inspirations rather than demotivation. i see them as my children though i'm young *eheeem*. i just don't want them to be easily hurt. life is, you know.
if he's reading this and he feels so much intimidated with my way saying that the two girls scored better than him - i hope he would get it that it was not my intention at all to humiliate him but more of provoking him to prove he can do better.
i have no idea why i feel so connected to him, but i do sense that if he's not being careful - he would just be the other boys i've known; which is not positive so it's bad since he has the potential.
boy, you are smart and i know you'll do well - but do keep yourself on the ground, keep yourself the way you should be and you'll be greater in future. with your potential, i know you'll be someone on top but make sure you carry the right attitude with you.
people with success are people with humanity and wisdom. you can't lack either one of them; or else you are just a body with no soul.
perghhhh so deep my writing today bahahahaa. whatever, i love you all nevertheless.