Wednesday, July 31, 2013

dalam menduga rasa cinta.

Assalamualaikum.

Tiada kata yang mampu diucap tatkala mengetahui pemergian insan tersayang. Kalau untuk memenangkan diri sendiri pun kadangkala tak terjumpa perkataan yang sesuai, inikan pula bila kawan-kawan, sanak saudara mahupun pelajar saya sendiri yang merasai kehilangan.

Beberapa hari lepas, pagi saya dikejutkan dengan mesej ringkas daripada bekas pelajar asasi saya, Yatt. Terdiam sejenak memikirkan apa yang perlu dibalas. Nak disuruh jangan menangis - tak masuk akal. Nak disuruh bersabar - pastinya kesabaran dia sudah penuh di dada dalam mengawal diri. Semuanya menjadi serba tak kena.  Yang terlintas di fikiran cuma satu; inilah ujian Allah buat kita - dalam menilai cinta kita pada Dia.

Saya sedih. Sebab dia kehilangan ibu lebih awal daripada saya kehilangan bapa saya. Namun janji Allah itu pasti. Setiap yang berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya yang hanya Allah saja yang tahu. Mati itu pasti. 

Kehilangan ini pasti akan menjadi igauan ngeri buat dia. Saya sendiri masih sedih dan sebak walaupun tiga tahun sudah berlalu. Masa bukan penentu kerana bila kita kehilangan orang tua kita, lama mana pun pasti akan masih dihimpit sedih. 

Dulu, saya sering menangis bila teringatkan 'bagaimana agaknya bila ibu atau bapa saya meninggal dunia'. Memikirkannya pun boleh buat merembes-rembes airmata. Ketika itu saya terfikir, mungkin bila ia benar-benar berlaku, separuh jiwa saya akan pergi, saya takkan mampu berdiri.

Tapi Allah Maha Kaya. 

Saya masih di sini. Sedih, tapi kini lebih kuat. Sekarang saya tahu, 'What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger'.

Kadangkala, Allah menduga kasih kita pada Dia bila diragut orang yang kita sayang. Sebab sesungguhnya, telah dikata bahawa kasih sesama manusia, cinta sesama kita adalah sementara dan hanya pinjaman semata. Bila direnggut sekelip mata - apakah kita meratap bagai hilang semua? atau lebih menyembah menyedari bahawa kita ini sekerdil-kerdil manusia. Apa pun takdak - kata gaya orang utara hahaha.

Hidup ni aneh, kan? tapi seronok.

:)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Sementara masih ada.

Ecewah tajuk. Suweettt tak? Hahaha.

Sepatutnya sudah enak dibuai mimpi pada waktu ini, tetapi perut berdendang kelaparan (eh?) hahah. Mind you readers, I'm writing this half awake; hence the mixture of languages and the informality in writing.

Ahhh, biarlah saya nak menulis apa dan bagaimana pun. Jangan mudah menilai, okay? Saya sedang cuba menulis dalam bahasa ibunda. Sesuatu yang sudah lama ditinggalkan; maka kalau ada salah dan silap harap dimaafkanlah ye.

Sepetang saya berfikir tentang sesuatu. Saya rindu bapa saya (sobbsss). Kenikmatan kehidupan yang saya sedang lalui adalah hasil didikan beliau. Dan ibu saya (duuhhhh, of course). Betapa nikmatnya hidup saya - ada kerjaya, ada kereta (walaupun masih berhutang dan jenama tempatan aje hahaha), dan insyaAllah mahu memiliki rumah sendiri. Tanpa bapa saya berpeluang menikmatinya bersama saya. 

Sedih, uolsssss.

Hidup saya dipenuhi nikmat dunia, tapi masih rasa sedih sebab tak dapat dikongsi dengan orang tersayang. Suatu ketika dulu, saya selalu berazam - nanti dah senang nak bawa mak ayah jalan-jalan, nak belanja diorang macam-macam. Nanti, bila dah senang.

Tapi Allah Maha Kaya - Dia mengatur segalanya. Bapa saya tak sempat merasa bila saya sudah sedikit senang. Belum betul-betul kaya, tapi sudah sedikit mampu nak belanja dan bawa berjalan.

Memang orang boleh kata, jadilah anak yang solehah kerana itu sumbangan saya pada bapa.  Saya mungkin tak sempat beri dia merasa nikmat dunia, tapi saya boleh menyumbang dalam saham akhirat bapa saya. Benar, saya tak sangkal. Benar, saya cuba sebaiknya namun saya cuma manusia biasa. Saya teringin nak belanja bapa saya makan sedap-sedap, belikan baju, bawa jalan-jalan. Tapi saya cuma mampu berangan dalam kepala. Buat macam mana pun, bapa saya sudah tiada.

Sobbbbsss sedihhhh.

Paling sedih bila tengok orang teruja buat persiapan perkahwinan - bapa mereka turut serta teruja dan sama naik syeikh shopping di Nilai 3 (ehhhh hahahah). Saya dah tak ada bapa. Tak terbayang di waktu akad nikah bapa saya tiada. 

Tapi mujurlah saya masih ada mak. 

Mak saya cool. Banyak hikmahnya bila bapa saya tiada. Kami lebih rapat, dan mak saya lebih sporting. Lebih terbuka dan suka melawak. Betul-betul menggantikan bapa saya. Bapa saya memang loyar buruk dan kuat membahan (sounds familiar kan? macam I kan? hahah).

Saya masih cuba nak membina kehidupan saya. Kalau dulu saya asyik menunggu konon bila senang baru nak belanja ibubapa - sekarang saya dah berubah. Saya cuba untuk menjadi lebih pemurah. Saya nak tengok mak saya gembira. 

Saya belanja tiket pergi melancong mak saya. Duit saya tak banyak, tapi hati saya gembira tengok mak saya teruja; biarpun dalam hati pening fikir apa lagi cara nak tambah duit hahahahha.

Kalau anda membaca nukilan hati saya hari ini, saya ada sedikit pesanan.

Never wait for the right moment. Tak ada apa yang pasti dalam dunia ini kecuali mati. Ibu bapa tiada gantinya. Sibuk macam mana pun, mesti balik jenguk mereka. Jangan berkira; call them as frequent as you can. Bila dah tak ada, jangan jadi macam saya. Masih terkenang-kenang dan mengharap andai masa dapat diputar semula. I miss all the calls my dad gave me, almost everyday. I miss how he made me laugh with his repetitious jokes. I miss how he annoyed me so much with his remarks. I miss how we argued over small matters. I miss his comments on how I drove. I miss him talking to me over the phone - asking me each and every time when will I come back? I miss his laugh, his smile. I miss his pat on my back after solat. I miss cutting his fingernails. I miss his requests - for me to cook dishes he liked. 

I just miss him badly.

I learn the most important thing in life. This lesson will surely be the most expensive one - I lost my dad, but I learn to love and to appreciate those who are kind to me, and to be more grateful with what I have. Love your loved ones while they are still alive. Jangan tunggu. Masa tidak menanti kita. Kematian itu pasti. Penat macam mana pun, spend your time. Listen to them. Tenung muka mereka puas-puas. Hug and kiss them while you can. Say you love them again and again. NEVER WAIT.

Kalian macam anak-anak saya, walaupun saya masih muda (ehem!). Maaf kalau kadang-kadang saya terlancang bahasa, perbuatan atau apa sahaja. 

Saya juga sedang mencuba mencari syurga. Moga saya, kalian dan sesiapa sahaja diberikan hidayah dan peluang menjadi lebih baik.

Moh kita tidur, anak-anak!

nahhhh.
kiss sampai tersepit haha.

Friday, February 22, 2013

woohooo i'm done!

After much struggling and sleepless nights, (we - lecturers are like zombies now), I'm done marking all scripts. However, I'm considered as halfway done since marks will be keyed in tomorrow and will be finalized next week. How time flies, huh? We all work like there's no tomorrow for the sake of our 'children'.

During the marking period, everyone will be missing hahahah. Each and every lecturer has different preferable ways to get things done. Me? I'm nestling at home trying to avoid the outside world (rasa macam nak mengeramkan telur pun ada sebab tak boleh tinggalkan sarang ha ha!).

But life must go on so I was running here and there, dividing tasks (my expertise) so that they will be done on time. I have started my postgraduate classes so welcome more and more sleepless nights!   -____-"

So far I'm happy with the marks. Don't worry, you will get what you deserve. I have to admit that I was offended by some students, but fret not because professionalism is my middle name LOL. I'm very professional when it comes to grading students. And if you know me well, effort means marks.

The more effort you put, the better grade you will get. InsyaAllah.

Those who are unhappy with the grade, well - it's not easy to satisfy everyone. But before you guys decide to vent on me or accusing me for being unfair or whatever, think deeply and try to mirror yourselves.

Don't ask what have I done for you, but rather ask what have you done for yourselves? Is your effort sufficient? Have you given your best? Have you tried your best? Were you really sincere attending my classes? Did you say bad things behind my back? Eh eh that's 'mengumpat' okay hahah.

But I know my students are true Muslims. They don't do bad things, they didn't say bad things. Husnudzon. :) :)

Allah is the Most Just. Honestly, I always have faith in Him. I know I'm just human and I can't escape imperfection - but having faith in Him make me feel so calm. I always pray to Him to give what's best for me, and for my students.

I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves to the max this holiday. Experience it while it lasts. Once you reach my age - holiday is no longer familiar.

Hihi I'm old. But young at heart.

Sleep tight all. I still need to revise few chapters for my next class. :) :)

Thursday, February 21, 2013

plagiarism aka plagiat aka copy paste.


Just so you know, I don't tolerate plagiarism.
Those whom I noticed plagiarised for the assignment, you only get not more than three marks.
Those marks are given solely because I pity you.

Tak kisahlah panjang berjela, bermuka surat banyak pun awak tulis, menipu tetap menipu.

Allah Maha Melihat.
dan saya berasa teramat sedih dengan sikap kalian.
Kecewa.

Biar bodoh, tapi jangan jadi penipu.
Bodoh masih boleh masuk syurga.
Menipu itu berdosa.

:)

Lu fikirlah sendiri.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

happy holidayssss!

Final exam is finally over. 
So do enjoy you break!

While i'm cracking my head marking your papers.
-_____-"

Just wanna share:

Masalah Lupa : Kenapa, Punca dan Cara Untuk Mengatasinya


Love, 
me.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Good luck, all!


I pray for all that may success be yours.

Love,
me.

Click here for good du'as.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Silenced



Berkurun lamaaaaaa.. ku rasakannnn... lalalala.. Ha layan lagu dulu sebelum mula menulis bahaha. Entah tahu ke tidak budak-budak ni lagu lama. Maklumlah, cikgu ni orang lama ehermm ehermmm hahaha. Baiklah murid-murid, berikut adalah hasil perahan otak cikgu ye. Amboi galak cakap melayu. Maaf le cikgu cakap melayu sebab letih asyik nak speaking je nanti lupa bahasa ibunda ecewah kau alasan hihi.

Let us begin with the questions. 

1. Do you think that In-Ho's mother was right when she asked In-Ho to just mind his own business and not to meddle with anything else?

First and foremost, it is not easy to simply judge the situation. I could not say who is right and who is not as it depends on which view I am looking at. 

If I were to look from the mother's perspective, I would definitely do the same. As a mother, all that she cared was the well-being of her son. She did not want In-Ho to suffer more, and to a mother all that matters is the responsibility of taking care of a family. She wanted In-Ho to be more responsible towards his daughter, what more after he had lost his wife. Teaching art means you don't easily survive, so when you have the opportunity to earn a living, you are expected not to ruin the chance. I could see that his mother was actually wanting what was best for In-Ho. She thought that by ignoring the issue, In-Ho's life would be better.

However, we cannot deny the fact that In-Ho was stuck in between the need to keep that job, and his responsibility as a human being. The idea of how someone could just keep their eyes close over the matter is almost absurd. As normal people, we are born with humanity and no matter how rough life is, humanity is not something to be taken away easily. He knew what was wrong, but he was helpless as he had to think of other things that would be affected if he decided to do something. Lending a hand means he would jeopardize his life and subsequently the life of his daughter. 

I try not to judge, hence I'm looking at both sides. To conclude, I would say that the mother was not wrong because her intention was genuine. I believe that mothers actually do care for their children and mean no harm at all; but towards the end it is In-Ho who should decide what is best for him and his daughter.


2. Do you think In-Ho had choices to make?

He had. He could choose to be part of the society and keep his eyes and mouth shut, or he could be a man with humanity. He cannot have both, no matter how much he wants it. In this case, he did have choices but it was not easy for him to decide. In the end, it was shown that he had chosen to be a man and was willing to bear the consequences rather than acted like nothing had happened. 

I was definitely astonished with his courage. He knew what was going to happen to him but he took it as a challenge. What he said to his mother at the court was so true; he could not accept himself if he decided to leave the kids with no help and he knew by doing so, he was actually being a bad father for his daughter. In my opinion, he was actually just like his mother where his daughter's interests were his main reason of living. In addition, he wanted to be just, and he wanted to stand for what he believed. Humanity must not be subsided no matter for whatever reasons, and even more if it is for the sake of money. One must believe:


11:6




And there is no creature on earth but that upon Allah is its provision, and He knows its place of dwelling and place of storage. All is in a clear register. (Hud, 6)


3. Is Min-Su's action at the end of the movie acceptable?

Min-Su's action was a result of despair he had towards the law and the society. While it is understandable to be angry and frustrated, but I simply believe one must not take action with his own hands. 

I know throughout the movie, we are shown with injustice and how corrupted the society is. However, settling the matter like what Min-Su did was unacceptable for me. Why would you end your life just because you want to have the revenge? Instead of killing myself, I would prefer if I work hard and leave that place, with a determination that I would do something to the society; educate them rather than punishing them all. I may not be able to change the world, but I know I could start with myself. 

13:11






For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah . Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. And when Allah intends for a people ill, there is no repelling it. And there is not for them besides Him any patron. (Ar-Ra'd, 11)

One thing Min-Su should know, that life is not all sweet. I truly feel the disappointment of how things were handled; I felt them too but like I said, why waste yourself? That is the best thing when you have a religion; beliefs to hold on to. In Islam, the act of desperation is what we are taught to avoid. Allah S.W.T. is the one we should turn to when we are having problems. He is the Most Merciful and the Most Just.
95:8


Is not Allah the most just of judges? (At-Tin, 8)

I strongly believe in this therefore what Min-Su did was not impressive to me, yet predictable. Many of us, although we keep on saying how we accept what has been destined to us with redha, did we really feel that? If so, why so many of us prefer to take the law into our own hands; we judge and we punish people without thinking what is beyond. We label each and every person we meet. We do this almost everyday without guilt, as if it is a norm in our life. 

It was hard for me to accept what was done to him and his brother, and I pity them for being victims, and I know it was even harder for Min-Su, but how I wish they were stronger to fight the battle from within and did not take the short cut, which was taking their own lives.

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I think I'll answer question 4 and 5 later. Don't have much time to do them all at one time hihi. Hope this helps, ok students? 

Do ask me in the comment area if you need me to explain more or whatever.

See you when I see you, and happy writing!

p/s: you can refer to this website if you wish to read the review.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Hello ya'lls.

Okay, first and foremost - pardon me for using informal word for my title. 

I know it has been quite some time I wrote something in here. Sorry sorry sorry. I just wish I have more time to do everything. I'm a very ambitious person, but most of the time, time doesn't permit me to do as much as I wish.

If you are new to my blog, hey welcome!!

Don't expect grand writings in here; this is just another place for me to ramble and nag things off hihihi. Well, I'm just a human being after all so mistakes are inevitable. Nothing new in my life but my semester is overrrrr! 

Hoooorayy!

As a reward for working hard preparing myself for the exam (it was tough, by the way huhu) - I watched two movies tonight. One is 'What to expect when you are expecting' and 'Black Swan'.

If you ask me for my opinion, I would suggest you to not watch both hahahaa. Sebab ada scenes censored so I'm afraid you won't be able to digest them. Yelah, kang kata cikgu ajar bukan-bukan pulak LOL. 

Do let me know if you want me to write a review on both. But hey, why don't you try writing your own review of things you have watched? And do let me know so we can share. Sharing is caring, remember? Hihihi.

I promise my students to also do the assignment and post it here (manja betul student sekarang, kan?) but can I do it later? I can't write when it's hot.

Perghhh gila tak menahan excuse.

Students, don't follow me k. Not this time hahaha.

Have a nice day, all. See you when I see you!